Wise Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes at some point in their life. Sometimes it’s small and fixable, and other times it’s not. Mistakes change your life; it’s a lesson that if fixed or dealt positively, you will grow as a person. I like to call them wise mistakes because it represents a slingshot. You have to pull it backwards before it will launch forward.

This is a story that touched my heart and made me think differently about judging people and their situations. It taught me to look at things from a different perspective; and sometimes, bad things happen for a good reason. This story is about my sister’s best friend named Chian Perkins and her life-changing experience.


“I was really stupid Khamica. January 4th, 2012 changed my life,” said Chian Perkins.

Her eyes were blood-shot and filled with tears. I sat down beside her on her bed. Her room was small and cluttered. Chian and my sister, Chantel, were best friends since elementary school, so I’ve known her for nine years. It was unusual to see how much her room has changed.


“I didn’t even know that I was pregnant.”


Chian was unknowingly 20 weeks pregnant. Because her body was compensating for a baby, her heartbeat quickened generating a sharp pain below her growing breasts. Therefore, her mother took her to the doctor. She extracted a sample of urine for testing. Moments later, the nurse rubbed the ultrasound machine with gooey solution on her belly.

“The nurse said it’s a boy. I saw his head, his body- everything. That’s when it hit me that I was going to be a mother,” she said.
She looked down at the bed, fiddling with her fingers.
“I didn’t cry, I didn’t freak out, I just absorbed it. I was still trying to take it all in. My mother on the other hand nearly feinted.”

After the ultrasound, Chian called Philip, her ex boyfriend; while he was with his friends. She blatantly told him that she was pregnant and he was the father. The phone silenced. He hung up on her. She called back. He didn’t pick up.


“We were only together for 2 months.”


Chian and Philip knew each other for 2 years but officially dated after Caribana, the festival where people from the Caribbean get to celebrate culture through song and dance. However, around the time Chian found out she was pregnant, Philip was single and ready to mingle. So his friends would say nonsense like, “Yo dog, she’s just trying to trap you, take the test.” Of course, as Philip got older and once the baby was born, the baby looked just like him and thankfully that made all his friends shut up.


May 28th, 2012


Chian was approximately 9 months pregnant and unaware when she’ll have her baby. On what seemed to be a regular evening, Chian was watching 106 and park on TV and suddenly felt a sharp pain on her abdomen. She plummeted onto the ground, zipped to the bathroom and hurled in the toilet. Her grandmother, who lives with her and her parents, zoomed to the hospital with now about to have a baby, Chian.

“I was on that hospital bed for 5 hours. And you know what? I gave birth WITHOUT an epidural. Yeah, I’m a badass.”

Chian flexed her arms with a smirk on her face.

“No, but really it was the worst pain in my entire life. On a scale of 1-10, it’s a solid 15. The pain hurts so much that you can’t breathe or talk. I did everything you can imagine on that bed. I threw up, pooped in my pants, and even peed a little.”

Philip, who in the beginning seemed to be a deadbeat father was present at the hospital. He held Chian’s hand the entire 5 hours and 17 minutes. On May 28th, at 11:17 PM, a little baby boy named Sage was born at 9 pounds and 9 ounces.


Wise Child


Sage was the very first name Chian came up with. Philip and Chian tried to combine their names together, but unfortunately they didn’t want to have a baby named Chip. “Philip and I decided to stay with the name Sage because it means wise child. And my baby will be grow up to be very wise.”


A cry emerged from inside the crib. Chian rushed over, picked him up and changed his diaper. I stood hovered over her shoulder. She cleaned Sage’s bum and threw away his dirty diaper. The toxic smell burned my nose. Chian looked unaffected. She gazed down at Sage holding him tightly in her arms. She sighed heavily.


“I had thoughts of hurting him, Khamica.”


“I never told anyone this but in the beginning, I was really depressed and every time he cried, I cried. One time, he was crying for 25 minutes straight and I held him and shook him screaming, ‘Shut up! Please Sage! Stop Crying! What do you want?’ I felt like the worst mother in the world. I hit rock bottom,” said Chian.

Water filled her eyes; I blinked continuously fighting back my tears. She rubbed away the falling tears and forced a smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all teary on you.”

Looking at Chian, and remembering who she used to be, perhaps having Sage at 19 years old wasn’t a mistake. I mean it was, but it changed her life.  Sage was the reason her drinking, partying and fooling around with boys ended. Philip and Chian worked on fixing their relationship and became closer and stronger as a couple. They are now in a healthy relationship for over a year now. And lastly, Chian went back to school and graduated with a degree in Nursing from Centennial College, so that her new family with Sage and Philip will have a better future. I know it may sound a little delusional, but if you look at it Sage was a wise mistake.



Posted on October 2, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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